Flavor of feedback


As I contemplate my role as a leader I reflect on the responses I’ve received over the years. I’ve often used my personal experience to illustrate and give texture to my communication. To reach you and be accessible at the same time I’ve shared my struggles and solutions. Keeping it real, I’ve pushed the envelope. I’ve provoked discussions I know we’d rather avoid – such as our relationship to commitment, truth, and authenticity.

“The truth isn’t the truth until people believe you, and they can’t believe you if they don’t know what you are saying, and they can’t know what you are saying if they don’t listen to you, and they won’t listen to you if you’re not interesting, and you won’t be interesting until you say things imaginatively, originally, and freshly!”
William Bernbach

“Your writing makes me think!” someone commented. “Who needs to work on a Sunday? Give us the funnies.”

“Why change? What can we change, really?”

“You’re honest and practical. You show that happiness is our responsibility; we’re in control by our choices. Hard medicine for some.”

“You’re quite the rabble – rouser, getting people to sit up and ask questions instead of taking everything lying down.”

“No use for this in my life. Let’s talk about how to get business and make money.”

My writings, workshops, and speaking in conferences over the years, have shaped my public persona. People everywhere have an opinion about me; at least they say I have courage. The most gratifying feedback is hearing stories of success and achievement – how seeing with fresh eyes and expressing their truth has brought them joy and fulfillment.

Last Sunday I wrote about how people’s assumptions, prejudices, and expectations affect how they behave and what they experience. Fascinating, some folks thought I was writing about divorce. Interestingly more men than women commented on my perspective. Majority said they appreciated how women get the raw end because culture discounts females. One or two concluded that I’m a man – hater!
Several women texted, “That’s my story!” Others said, “We mustn’t complain. Women are treated well in Malaysia.”

To overcome the odds I know so many of you work flat out to do the best you can with what you have. That’s probably where the skepticism and frustration is coming from when people say, “What’s the use?”

My invitation is for us act instead of hope. What if we operated from somewhere more empowering than resignation? What if we were reconnected with our resourcefulness and regained our power?

Those who see my work as insignificant, apply sarcasm. Those who see through the lens of scarcity discount and disparage me.

“It’s not the critic who counts. It’s not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or how the doer of deeds could have done it better. The credit belongs to the person who is actually in the arena. Whose face is marred with blood, sweat, and dust. Who at best, in the end, knows the triumph of high achievement and at worst, if he fails, he fails daring greatly.”
Theodore Roosevelt

What if we were simply happier people? What if we could balance our work – life to enjoy better relationships, health and wellbeing? Imagine what you’d be able to do with more time, energy, and money.

Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.
Goethe

If we want to count ourselves among the best in the world, have more peace, love, and joy in our lives, we need to start new conversations around old problems, ones that will bring new insight, new drive, and especially new outcomes.

Client: You’re too expensive!
Tess: If you think it’s expensive to hire a professional, wait until you hire an amateur.
Client: Can you guarantee success?”
Tess: Only if I can control you.

Meaning + Action > Behavior + Outcome.
Most professionals miss meaning. Meaning is about purpose and perspective, it’s an attitude, and most coaches and consultants don’t address that.

“Many have the means but their life has no meaning.” Abraham Maslow
To enhance your life, choose robust and powerful meanings, not wimpy ones. Deeper meaning > More fulfilling experiences

If you want to know your past life, look into your present condition; if you want to know your future life, look at your present actions.
Hindu saying

I invite you to start empowering and purposeful conversations everywhere. Start one with me! Be constructive. Be supportive. Be the change.

Follow Tessie Lim on Facebook or drop me a question. tessielim@tessielim.com

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