Get a Life Q&A April 27 2014

I feel under a lot of pressure as Head of Department. I’m expected to be a role model and to perform ahead of the rest but sometimes I struggle and that’s when I feel my bosses pick on my weaknesses. I feel humiliated that I can’t be perfect in their eyes. I need to regain my self – confidence. How can I do this?

What does being HOD mean to you? Whose expectation is it, that you are a role model? How is a role model expected to perform exactly, that’s different from others? Please clarify for me by spelling out the ways. When you say, “ahead of the rest,” what do you mean? It’s good that we really get a grip on what we are talking about here.

The end result as you present it, is lots of pressure, struggle, your feeling humiliated, and loss of self – confidence. It doesn’t sound good at all, and I think you’re right about wanting to change things, and with some urgency too.

And if things shifted from all these negatives, what would you be experiencing instead? If pressure were to be replaced with relief, if struggle could change to ease, humiliation to confidence, would these outcomes be worth some work with me?

Let’s start by knowing exactly what’s expected of you as Head of Department. Can you do it? What do you need so that you can perform well? Think about external resources like people who can support you. Think about internal qualities you can strengthen, such as trusting your training, your experience, your persistence and commitment to doing your best. Once we reconnect with your strengths and keep building upon your competence, confidence will return.

Performance is an inside – out job. This means when we work on our mental and emotional agility, the physical world quickly reflects our reality. So chin up. Get ready for success!

Am I depressed? I’m finding it hard to focus. I’m feeling tired and I don’t have much interest in anything at the moment. There is a dull ache in my chest and my limbs are heavy. I can’t go on like this. What do I do to snap out of this?

How long have you been feeling this way? Think back. What caused you to begin feeling this low? When you have identified that incident, think what you’ve made it mean about you, about your life. Pay attention to this: It’s not the incident itself that has triggered your response; it’s the meaning you’ve given it.

Go on, say it out loud: “I think I’m a fool.” “I suck.”
Yeah, you and a million other people!

Now I want you to think about your potential. I want you to think about all your successes, the good times – times when you laughed, times with friends and family, times filled with joy and peace and love. Go back to birthday celebrations, anniversaries, and holiday trips. Remember the fun. Think about all the times you did good work and how good that felt. Yes, you did it then. And you will do it again.

Here’s my challenge to you. What are you the possibility of? What will you stand for today? Sure, you may be feeling lousy now and that’s perfectly acceptable. Now what? What will you create with your power from now on, is the question!

This is my battle cry: I stand for courage, confidence, and freedom. What can you come up with? Suggestions: [1] I am bigger than my fear. I will breakthrough. [2] I will use this experience to learn and grow, rather than shrink back. [3] I am strong. As I let go of my ego needs and focus on the possibilities in my life, I will rise up.

What is that one thing you will do today, that supports your stand? Just do that one thing. Remember, you are more precious than you can ever imagine. Never give up. Baby steps to giant leaps.

I believe in you.


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