Get a Life Q&A Mar 9 2014


IMy husband was let go of his job two years ago. Since then he’s started his business and we’ve not had a steady income. Life’s been challenging with two children going to school. I want to motivate my husband who’s very depressed. I myself am beginning to lose confidence. What can I do?

I’m sorry. The uncertainty must be frightening for you, wondering how life will turn out. I know how that feels. I also know that when we’re unconscious of it, this fear can take control of us and suddenly we feel helpless.

What we need is to take control of our consciousness. We need to take control of our mind and our focus. We need to remember who we are and what we’re capable of. We do this by reading good books and doing things – positive things that fill our mind with positive thoughts. We are more than our fear. We can overcome!

I turn to Deepak Chopra and the Dalai Lama for inspiration. I write down everything that I’m grateful for. I stop taking things for granted and remember my purpose in life. I make a list of everything I can do and find ways to demonstrate I can do them. I also find ways to help others worse off than me.

Taking control of our consciousness also means being mindful about our body. Feed to strengthen our body, not to weaken it. Watch your sugar levels. Limit alcohol. Work to shift your physiology. Laugh with friends. Exercise to get your heart pumping, work up a sweat to get your endorphins up, raise your dopamine and oxytocin levels. Push your limits of what you believe you’re capable of. When you’re done, do 5 minutes more.

Most importantly, make a business plan and start working. Take massive action. It doesn’t have to be perfect, just make progress everyday. Find a mentor you can reference or talk to. Get support. What’s the worse that can happen?

I don’t understand why some people who are less knowledgeable than me can make more money. They aren’t as dedicated or committed to quality or care as much as me and yet they get ahead. I feel frustrated. I feel left behind. What must I do to balance the scale?

What’s the flavor of your communication? When you say you don’t understand, what’s your confusion about? It’s led to your frustration. You say you feel left behind… What’s the deepest, most significant feeling attached to your words? Does this feeling serve you? How are you wiser for it?

What is the main thought behind your words? I’m hearing “unfair.” That’s why you want to balance the scale. What else are you thinking? What do you really want?

Is that what you really want? You want to make things more equal – among whom exactly? How would we be able to measure equality in your books? Going by what you’ve said the criteria are: knowledge, dedication, quality, and care. Anything else?

Can you do it? Can you implement the criteria for all – for fairness and balance? How well could you implement these standards? And if you did it really well, would you stop feeling left behind? If you were able to do this, what would you get?

Given all that we’ve said, what do you realize? What must happen for you so that you no longer feel left behind? What will you do about that?

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